i now have to go on a wild goose chase.

basically i'm done school on nov 7.
but the nursing faculty might make my clinical group/anyone finished then, wait till december to write the exam.
that way they'd only have to get people to write the exam once, not twice.
only make one test and not two, if you get what i'm saying.
that definitely is a huge potential roadblock for travel.
why?
because they generally only defer exams or make you write them earlier if you have a really good reason.
and travel is not one of those reasons, even volunteering.
so now i need to figure out who to talk to and when and who knows what, but i feel like nobody ever really knows things for sure so it's going to get crazy.

UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.

holy crap holy crap holy craaaaap.

my parental unit just visited!
they got me so many groceries so i legit have food and my fridge is stuffed and i have beer and it's awesome!
aaah.
today i had the largest plate of pancakes and only ate one cause they were bigger than my face.
so tasty.
updates: i applied for costa rica.
my parents were down, no biggie.
i'll be super ridic poor but then i'll get a loan and i don't care cause i'd rather be in debt than do nothing.
so hopefully i get costa rica!! woot for that.
i need to get my passport renewed, asap.
also maybe harry potter world in august with sister and little brother!
yahoo.
that also means disney world, ps.
potentially vegas with meg but i'll need to plan a weekend, that would be so ballin.

so i have an exam tomorrow.
i'm definitely just procrastinating right now.
oops!
i really do need to study though.
and edit my paper again just in case.

i really want to just go sleep in a field but with a fan blowing on me.
or just a mild breeze would be nice.

but for real life omgomgomgomgomgomgomg i might go to costa rica!!

tidbits.

stoned yoga teachers ftw.
yoga ftw.
arms too short?
not ftw.
new hair wash regimen, day 3 is on track.
it's clean now.

best friends always have the best words.

tomorrow: sim lab.
nervous?
yes.
why?
who knows.
probably because everyone will be watching us try to not fake kill the fake guy.
i probs should start remembering everything so far.

getting in shape?
who knows, but yes please.

saturday: discussion time with the parents.
somehow i need to convince them that if i go on a trip by myself, i won't die.
hopefully i'll be able to go, and with the right dates i've picked.
it'll be costa rica on november 21, to december 21 or something?
hopefully i'll not miss christmas, i want to be here for christmas.
but i could also only go to costa rica for 2 weeks but then i'd miss out on the country tour.
gaauduaudfha wefh;a wefo;jaskdlcafs;d fak fasdf.
WAIT A SECOND.
i just looked at my calendar.
if i go on the 21 then 4 weeks will be december 19 so i'd be in canada by perhaps the 20th.
this should work.

dear life,
it's time for you to fall into place.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(at least the costa rica part of it).
.
.
.
.
.
(and the hair growing longer part too).

tomorrow is the first day ever i get to legit wear scrubs.
mine are bright pink, who would have seen that coming?

ps i'm talking to a girl from back home.
she's so awesome it's unbelievable.
silly tiny things she says are exactly all that needs to be said about anything.
i love her so much <3

wow.

near panic/anxiety attacks are not fun.
why the fuck is life making me so nervous right now.

cautioners.

that is all.

untitled.

:(

update (to everyone): if the world is really over tomorrow (which i doubt, but anyways), i'm sorry we never did the things we planned.
i'm sorry for what i could have done but didn't do.
i'm sorry if i didn't call when i said i would.
busyness is silliness.
<3

unrelated: do you ever feel like spiders are crawling up your legs?

second update: the world isn't over.
but my statement still stands.

miss jessica.

this is my life, thus far, chronologically.

things standing out in my mind from earlier times.
i haven't said all i have to say.

hose water and crab apples.
elephant trunks and costume cheese.
squished unfinished muffins under chairs,
nobody will look there.
let go of the lego, safeway bag clean up.
staircases and exploding yogurt,
ernie and bert.
facecloths and juice explosions.
rebar, the moving car.
preschool, crying, mom forgot me.
in the next room feet away.
she never forgot, will never forget.
candy from a random piñata.
sad momma, happy momma.

baby dolls vs. real babies.
juice box factories, ninja turtle pizza lunch parties.
overalls and ponytails.
camping: sticks and bows and arrows,
feed a chipmunk a box of oreos.
teddy bears, shared rooms and snoring.
fireworks.
lunch at your house until macewan.

belly shirts and elephant pants.
bicycle racks and football rants.
mix-tapes and tubing.
skinned hands from rope,
crazy flips, landing it.

oh yea baby.
tetherball poles, broken fingers, candy all over.

let's be the spice girls and marry hanson.

who doesn't want coffee/horse swing lunches?
pendellina tumor.
basketball at the old school.

open faced sandwiches,
let's steal cheese.
wood shop, annoying boys.
secrets.
locker rice and lunge walks,
detention for constant silly talk.
sweet beats.
hot eats/cool treats, at the local dairy q's.
late night walks, late night talks.
let's sit in the closet on the phone.
front lawn spying festivals.
we thought we were so cool.

red rocks, bed rocks, family road trips rock.
broken cars, giant trees, food poisoning.
home.

duct tape, davey havok,
let's create some havoc.
floodpants and sarcastic english essays,
you'll hear what i have to say.
underpants on top of pants,

german class minus german.
poofed wheat, pink shirted boys.
wisdom teeth, napoleon dynamite, biology.
let's make foam dioramas,
for display while we embarrass ourselves.

mohawk.
out the window, down the block.
hide and seek in cars.
tears, fears and beers.
you were always there but never here.
frittatas, mac and cheese, exploding cookies.
who needs to learn about eggs anyways.

let's be jedis.
i love you guys more than i.
blue gowns, cheesy tiara crowns.
cupcake dresses, bathroom safety pins.
reconciliations.
growing apart, growing together.
i'll think of you forever.
lip rings, life lessons.
old friends, regressions.

blind and deaf but good advice.
rod stewart, beer, piña coladas.

good thing we went and saw you.

new school, new crew.
mullets and drinks.
rocky horror was a horror.
costume parties, jack parties, jag parties, random parties.
tequila.

new boy, mean boy.
mother mother.
ducks in fields and force field shields.

all day video game marathons.

finger gun shootouts,

new guy.

basement couch snuggles.
rome and marble.
prada, pompeii, gelato.
jaywalking, crazy car rides,

the window can be a door for now.
long hair, weddings.
crazy dance party family reunions.
drinks, insults, assaults.

hot tubs, accidental lost tops.
snow pees, hungover mc d's.
dinosaurs, new girl, awesome girl.
over, drama, swim up bars.
in da jungle: sweaty backs and heavy backpacks.
rough skinned elephant trunks and snotty noses.
yes hives, no salt.
it's a squat toilet, don't fall down.

windy road mental breakdowns.

new friends, great friends.
hopefully i'll see them again.
foreign land poutine, dengue, support, late night cartoons.
home time, just barely in time.

solo bike rides, camping, me.
tough decisions.
work drama, boy drama, life drama.

new york, new city, new house, new people.

byebye momma, see you soon.

time flies but no forgetting.
new responsibilities, stresses, lessons.
let's try to avoid the messes.
new girls, beer therapy.

i miss familiar smells.

old friends, dead ends?

i’ll do what i can on this two way road if you do the same for me.

halfway is key.

life isn't always like when you were little.

have courage, be strong.

distress, de-stress.