sometimes i use myself as a napkin.

i've been in my pajamas for the better part of the day.
things are going so slowly, my motivation is lacking and i think this is primarily because my back hurts.
oaiwehfa ioweawefha ew.
what if i slipped a disk?

in other news, i just squished a mosquito.
i hate killing bugs.
but not because i'm killing them (they're a-holes anyways), but because then i have bug guts in places i don't want them to be (like on my wall) and i always imagine the bug guts coming through whatever i used to kill it (this time it was a napkin) and touching me.
i don't want any direct physical contact with bug guts or their outside bits.
exoskeletons are effing nasty.
except on lobsters and crabs.

fml i need internets.

i will be brief.
i hate stats.
i'm hungry and have no food, because i forgot to shop for food.
good weekend.
road trip, calgary, momma/fam etc, peters, beers, parties, cowboy mens, giant popcorn bags, pickles, drunk times, volleyball win (ish), harry potter.
good times, good friends.

clinical is meh.
i mean good, but the meh part comes from the fact that my tutor makes us feel literally so stupid and incompetent.
i get to go home each night and basically be like "wtf am i doing here, clearly i know nothing"
even though when i need to know stuff, i know what to do (i don't really sit there and think about it, i just have ended up doing the right things so far).
confusing?
yes.
i need a little more encouragement.

these next few months will be strange.

and literally just this second i realized how much stuff has happened in the past year.
definitely in a different place.

ps i burned my arm by accident while ironing today :(:(:(:(
who the fuck irons anyways?

he died last night.

updates.

it's high time i write this.
many recent events.
i don't remember my last post but i'm too lazy to look at it.

semester 2 done, sweet(ish) marks...i'm happy.
whole week off (woohoo) so i went to calgary and visited.
saw lots of people and was suuuper busy.
my week to catch up on sleep was probably less sleep than at school.

dressing like a cowgirl/horse duo for cancer money = win.
riding said horse when touchdowns occurred = more win.
the amount of high fives received during and after = lots of win.
the amoung of money we raised = super win.
drunken rooftops at midnight = scary but fantastic.
pizza after is even better.
couch sleepovers and lady talks.
i'm perhaps going to start running.
i did then and i want to now (but my sleep patterns may not allow for that, see below).

old person, new drama?
preferably not.
perhaps not so much 'drama' as 'emotional turmoil'.

new clinical started.
medicine unit.
yesterday was orientation at the hospital, today was our first of 2 buddy shifts.
one of four patients was unresponsive to external stimuli.
he was so so cold.
doubtful that he'll even make it through the next 2 days.
what a way to start.
:(

getting up at 5 is a hard task.
right about now my head hurts and i want to be asleep, but i'm probably going to yoga.
i need to start going to bed around 10, like a normal person.
but then weekends will most likely mess me up again.
goodbye semi-regular circadian rhythm, it was fun while it lasted.


ps. i don't have internet cause the network i was borrowing has disappeared, so i have to come to the lame library or walk outside down the street (it's a hard life i know).
i don't get my own for like 2 weeks.
BLAH.
basically these updates will be less frequent for the time being, even though i'll for sure need to vent.
boo.

ah.

so today was the day.
no wonder everything felt off.
i miss you even though i don't know if i met you.
:(

shame.

life win!

***disclaimer***
i apologize if the level of enthusiasm in this post makes you want to vomit.
or actually vomit.
please brush your teeth after.


GAAAAAH I'M GOING TO COSTA RICA!!!
hopefully they keep the exam date what they told me, cause that'd suck if the FON messed up my plans.
holy man!!!
i hope i get baby turtles <3

so i've realized that despite minor glitches in my life plan, aka housing being lame and being so effing slow, unorganized and generally lame at my room transfer, that i still win.
even though i'm not the most efficient studier this week (way too preoccupied with room transfer, home plans, costa rica money coordination, and overall being unmotivated) i think i'll still do ok.
first exam today wasn't bad, there were some really random questions that were literally not covered in the course at all (they were from a class last semester) so that was stupid.
but there were also some really easy ones.
but even if i get 50% i still pass with a pretty good margin.

yays!
1. i got my email from isv saying costa rica at midnight last night as i was trying to do some last minute cramming (obviously i skipped cramming and googled costa rica things).
its a 4 week program but i can also go for an extra week and live with a family and learn spanish (i'm super rusty) so i'm debating doing that too if dates work out.
might as well.
2. exam went ok today, and i'm soooo glad it's done!
now i'll have to buy drug cards and really learn them in clinical.
but that will be easier for me.
3. it's so nice outside! PLUS right outside my hobbit village theres an excavator excavating the street away!!
so good.
and a little steamroller waiting behind to reflatten!
honest if i had no exams i would bring bean bag chair outside and just watch them like a crazy lady.
4. wings right after exams today! and cheap beer!
5.i'm buying scrubs tomorrow! and maybe shoes! and i'll shop friday too yaaay!
6. i get to go home sunday for a week!
ya i'll see my momma and my dad and my puppy and my brothers and my preggo sister (and her crazy mom ugh) and feel baby kick and see amanda when she returns and shotgun beers in jorts with her and little brother woooo!!
7. i'm about to make an egg burrito.

nays.
1. another exam at 2 (yay it'll be over)
2. more cramming tonight and tomorrow for friday :(
3. i need to get housing to let me move aaaauugh.
4. my hip and back hurt from sitting funny and studying so much. blah.

7>4=i win.

things people need to invent.

a knowledge-plugin like the matrix.
but everyone can't know everything, it would have to be restricted somehow.
this way i have to freak out less before exams.

a teleporter.
to get me to the library on time and not waste 10 valuable study minutes walking here (why didn't i bike??!)

that's all i can think of for now because those are currently relevant to me.


oh and a fruit peeler/cutterupper that disposes of the leaves and peels so that i dont have to get all messy making smoothies.