alberta soup bones.

why does nobody else know this phrase?

dear josh hartnett.

i may not be 16 anymore, but i'm still in love with you.

again with the non writing.
updates:
spend lots of money on boxing day.
continued packing/visiting with people.
went to new york for 9days, with friends and had a sweet time.
new years on a yacht was less glamorous than expected/was paid for, but the copious amounts of free grey goose made it better.
we accidentally walked drunk through the projects too, oops!
shopped lots, spent lots, saw sweet things...times square, empire state building, grand central station, brooklyn bridge, central park, seinfeld restaurant, natural history museum.
and then some.
the day after we came back i had to finish packing and visit with my family.
found out some ridic sweet news (i shouldn't post on here cause it hasn't been released to the general public yet) but i'll probably spill those beans later.
then the next day i moved up here to edmonton where i currently reside.
i drove with krystle and my dad/amanda drove up in the uhaul, and we all carried my junk up 3 floors to my room.
it was sweet having krystle to drive up with, otherwise that would have been an awful boring 3 hour drive.....we literally talked the whole time about everything.
love her.
the next day i had my nursing orientation which was good, the faculty introduced themselves to us.
i got all sorts of excited for nursing.
that weekend i checked out a mall with amanda.
sunday i met up with my friend derek from calgary, who i didn't know was moving here (random).
then i started classes on monday, got me even more pumped.
this week has been very slack though, i wish i was taking more classes (i'll probably regret saying that later when i get my butt kicked) just so i could meet more people.
i've tested out 2 new yoga studios so far, the one i just came from i liked better.
the incense they were burning smelled like the temples in thailand and made me miss it.
ah!
i've been reading a nurses blog, it's pretty sweet.
makes me wanna start my own.
but then the question is, do i delete this one or do i just start a new/more anonymous one?
hmmmm....

call me alice.

friday night:
kegger, link, old boy, incoherent, confused.
awkward? maybe.
new girl, hilarious times, sweet people.
no hangover.

saturday night:
house party, raphael, even older boy.
depressed, crying, bearded dragons, numbers exchanged.
hugs, kisses, tide and blacklights, good friends, snuggles.
no cabs, rude work boy, passed out.
sweaty sheets from being sardines, cell phones at 7am.

sunday:
work early, 4 hour naps, green tea, harry potter.
phone calls, plans made, follow through? let's wait and see.

life:
more drama than a teenage girl.
hard decisions, time is short.
what the fuck.
there are so many ups and downs right now.
i wish i could say i was just hormonal, but i'm not.
i have no idea what i want, and i thought i did for the longest time.
i feel i am falling down the rabbit hole.
what do i do, and when will i know?
how do i know?
every waking second is full of uncertainty.
every so often i get a glimpse of being content but it fades quickly.
if things are so unsure, maybe this is where i am not supposed to be.
i need things to fall in place.
i know they will, but it would be lovely if things would hurry up already.
i need to be where i need to be in life.
am i where i'm supposed to be, or am i someplace else?

the good left undone.

all because of you, i haven't slept in so long.
when i do i dream, of drowning in the ocean.
longing for the shore, where i can lay my head down,
inside these arms of yours.

all because of you, i believe in angels.
not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos.
the kind that bring you home, when home becomes a strange place.
i'll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out.


sometimes i feel like home is strange.
not my house or my actual home, but my life's home, if that makes sense.
who and what i am, where i am in life.
something is missing, it is incomplete.
hopefully one day i can feel like the last part of this song, where someone will bring me home.
there would be no questions, no uncertainties.

random thoughts.

i miss thailand.
i was thinking today, why i miss it.
i miss it's calmness.
people there are not angry, or hurried, or rude.
sure there are times when it's annoying to have tuktuks whistling for a ride, or when old women from tribes try to sell you jewellry....but they aren't angry like people are here.

i read a girl's blog today, i used to work with her but didn't really know her.
it seems something bad is happening, and it makes me sad.
i probably won't ever talk to her again, but somehow it affects me.
i am sad.

i am hungry.
my stomach is growling.
i want more than what is now.

i need to know what people expect of me.
i need to know what people want with me.
am i merely a way to pass time, or am i something to make time for?
this is all very confusing.

in the past few months, i have been the least stressed that i've been in years.
years.
hopefully health will respond.
almost everyone at my job, most of my friends, and some of my family have gotten sick lately.
i have not.
i take this as a good sign.

life rules.

accepted into u of a nursing! (moving in january)
toga kegger this past weekend.
kegstands (2), beer bong, beer pong (3-4, i don't remember).
meeting up with old friends.
working=money.
sunshine and hot weather.
fall colors.
birthdays! (mine is in 2 days!)
gold shoes.
i'm going to new york for new years! (i'll be poor, but at least i'll be poor in new york).