things.

the people i need close to me are there without fail.

over the last 5ish weeks i've gotten to know a wonderful lady who has become one of my best friends.
everything between us is real, honest and raw.
it's refreshing to have her with me.
i remember who i am and where i am, and what i want to be.


on the flip side i seem to attract the weirdest situations.
things and people (coughboyscough) present themselves to me in a way that confuses, yet intrigues me.
i find myself not being able to either commit or resist, and i end up floating somewhere in limbo.
either i haven't found anyone quite worth it in a few months, or i have everyone and everything sitting right in front of me and it's either bad timing, or i can't quite see it.

i never want to settle, but i never want to be left behind.

i might be a lady pimp.

this is confusing.
one boy always comes and goes (and i come and go for him) but i can never figure out what's going on.
i don't know if it will ever happen or it won't, and i don't know what i'd want to happen if anything ever did.
figure that one out.
now a new boy in the mix?
who know's what's up with this.
he's so young.

why are they all in calgary or out of the country or anywhere i don't live?
i'm taking this as a sign that it's not meant to be, it's the wrong timing, or it's just something to keep me coming back to calgary.

life updates.

i got home yesterday from 5 weeks in costa rica.
week 1: lost luggage, spanish school, homestay, partying with mama tica, jelly shots, salsa dancing, drunken beach excursion, snorkeling, sexy tico boys, nachos bar, imperial beer, great new friends.
week 2/3: long bus rides, sexy tico man, frog searching, dolphin searching, beach tanning, boat tanning, naughty spanish learning, tobogganing on my face down a hill, jungle exploring, hammock napping, lazy afternoons, mosquito net snuggles, wild life rescue, scratching a bossy spider monkey, conch shell showers, new life backup plan.
week 4/5: tour, zip lining, waterfall rappelling, sunning, shopping, beach walking, volcano hiking, waking up to howler monkeys, skinny dipping, more sexy ticos, beach lunches, ear infection, cute puppies, the grinch, walk-offs, broken cameras, hot springs, departures.

new life plan if all fails: move there and find me a sexy tico boy with 30 abs, sun myself on the beach all day and drink mojitos.