the good left undone.

all because of you, i haven't slept in so long.
when i do i dream, of drowning in the ocean.
longing for the shore, where i can lay my head down,
inside these arms of yours.

all because of you, i believe in angels.
not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos.
the kind that bring you home, when home becomes a strange place.
i'll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out.


sometimes i feel like home is strange.
not my house or my actual home, but my life's home, if that makes sense.
who and what i am, where i am in life.
something is missing, it is incomplete.
hopefully one day i can feel like the last part of this song, where someone will bring me home.
there would be no questions, no uncertainties.

random thoughts.

i miss thailand.
i was thinking today, why i miss it.
i miss it's calmness.
people there are not angry, or hurried, or rude.
sure there are times when it's annoying to have tuktuks whistling for a ride, or when old women from tribes try to sell you jewellry....but they aren't angry like people are here.

i read a girl's blog today, i used to work with her but didn't really know her.
it seems something bad is happening, and it makes me sad.
i probably won't ever talk to her again, but somehow it affects me.
i am sad.

i am hungry.
my stomach is growling.
i want more than what is now.

i need to know what people expect of me.
i need to know what people want with me.
am i merely a way to pass time, or am i something to make time for?
this is all very confusing.

in the past few months, i have been the least stressed that i've been in years.
years.
hopefully health will respond.
almost everyone at my job, most of my friends, and some of my family have gotten sick lately.
i have not.
i take this as a good sign.