a strange turn of events.

you say to not be alarmed.
but how could i not be.
i know you'll never read this, but why now?
10 months is a long time.

curious.

sometimes i use myself as a napkin.

i've been in my pajamas for the better part of the day.
things are going so slowly, my motivation is lacking and i think this is primarily because my back hurts.
oaiwehfa ioweawefha ew.
what if i slipped a disk?

in other news, i just squished a mosquito.
i hate killing bugs.
but not because i'm killing them (they're a-holes anyways), but because then i have bug guts in places i don't want them to be (like on my wall) and i always imagine the bug guts coming through whatever i used to kill it (this time it was a napkin) and touching me.
i don't want any direct physical contact with bug guts or their outside bits.
exoskeletons are effing nasty.
except on lobsters and crabs.

fml i need internets.

i will be brief.
i hate stats.
i'm hungry and have no food, because i forgot to shop for food.
good weekend.
road trip, calgary, momma/fam etc, peters, beers, parties, cowboy mens, giant popcorn bags, pickles, drunk times, volleyball win (ish), harry potter.
good times, good friends.

clinical is meh.
i mean good, but the meh part comes from the fact that my tutor makes us feel literally so stupid and incompetent.
i get to go home each night and basically be like "wtf am i doing here, clearly i know nothing"
even though when i need to know stuff, i know what to do (i don't really sit there and think about it, i just have ended up doing the right things so far).
confusing?
yes.
i need a little more encouragement.

these next few months will be strange.

and literally just this second i realized how much stuff has happened in the past year.
definitely in a different place.

ps i burned my arm by accident while ironing today :(:(:(:(
who the fuck irons anyways?

he died last night.

updates.

it's high time i write this.
many recent events.
i don't remember my last post but i'm too lazy to look at it.

semester 2 done, sweet(ish) marks...i'm happy.
whole week off (woohoo) so i went to calgary and visited.
saw lots of people and was suuuper busy.
my week to catch up on sleep was probably less sleep than at school.

dressing like a cowgirl/horse duo for cancer money = win.
riding said horse when touchdowns occurred = more win.
the amount of high fives received during and after = lots of win.
the amoung of money we raised = super win.
drunken rooftops at midnight = scary but fantastic.
pizza after is even better.
couch sleepovers and lady talks.
i'm perhaps going to start running.
i did then and i want to now (but my sleep patterns may not allow for that, see below).

old person, new drama?
preferably not.
perhaps not so much 'drama' as 'emotional turmoil'.

new clinical started.
medicine unit.
yesterday was orientation at the hospital, today was our first of 2 buddy shifts.
one of four patients was unresponsive to external stimuli.
he was so so cold.
doubtful that he'll even make it through the next 2 days.
what a way to start.
:(

getting up at 5 is a hard task.
right about now my head hurts and i want to be asleep, but i'm probably going to yoga.
i need to start going to bed around 10, like a normal person.
but then weekends will most likely mess me up again.
goodbye semi-regular circadian rhythm, it was fun while it lasted.


ps. i don't have internet cause the network i was borrowing has disappeared, so i have to come to the lame library or walk outside down the street (it's a hard life i know).
i don't get my own for like 2 weeks.
BLAH.
basically these updates will be less frequent for the time being, even though i'll for sure need to vent.
boo.