pleasepleaseplease,

just go the fuck away.

hmm.

i wish to become a ghost to you.
you can reminisce about the past when you read my updates.
you can think of me when you see old familiarities.
perhaps you will try to bring me out.
but i will slowly keep fading away.

so far so good.

my minor freakout was unintentional and a little out of proportion.
i had nothing to worry about.
i just hated the feeling back then, and i hope to avoid it.
i blame old him.
it's hard to so openly just trust people when you're used to getting hurt.

blah.

liking boys sucks.
it's probably the worst feeling ever.
i hate not knowing.
and then feeling like i'll be completely alone forever.
it would be nice if shit could just work out for once.

ok.

but for real how do i not mess this up?
hopefully he stays a gentleman now.
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.
legit liking someone is not the most fun when you don't know what's gonna happen.

fuck you.

the second last time, you nearly thought i was someone else.
i knew it.
i denied it.
i know it.
i hate it.
it's driving me up the wall because i can't call you on it.
i've moved on.
i'm about to leave to see someone better, who actually cares, who is a gentleman, and who treats me how i deserve to be treated.
it still just pisses me the fuck off, that after that long, this is who you are.
i love you, but i just hate you.

i'll never forget.

this song brings me back to you when you're far away.
not in a romantic way.
but it keeps you close when we're far apart.
there was physical distance and now i feel maybe emotional distance.
who knows.

i listen when i miss you.

memory.

it's strange how after two years i can still recall your phone number.
it was lost for a while but i find that it's in my brain now.
it had become so automatic who knows if it will ever be erased.