untitled.

:(

update (to everyone): if the world is really over tomorrow (which i doubt, but anyways), i'm sorry we never did the things we planned.
i'm sorry for what i could have done but didn't do.
i'm sorry if i didn't call when i said i would.
busyness is silliness.
<3

unrelated: do you ever feel like spiders are crawling up your legs?

second update: the world isn't over.
but my statement still stands.

miss jessica.

this is my life, thus far, chronologically.

things standing out in my mind from earlier times.
i haven't said all i have to say.

hose water and crab apples.
elephant trunks and costume cheese.
squished unfinished muffins under chairs,
nobody will look there.
let go of the lego, safeway bag clean up.
staircases and exploding yogurt,
ernie and bert.
facecloths and juice explosions.
rebar, the moving car.
preschool, crying, mom forgot me.
in the next room feet away.
she never forgot, will never forget.
candy from a random piñata.
sad momma, happy momma.

baby dolls vs. real babies.
juice box factories, ninja turtle pizza lunch parties.
overalls and ponytails.
camping: sticks and bows and arrows,
feed a chipmunk a box of oreos.
teddy bears, shared rooms and snoring.
fireworks.
lunch at your house until macewan.

belly shirts and elephant pants.
bicycle racks and football rants.
mix-tapes and tubing.
skinned hands from rope,
crazy flips, landing it.

oh yea baby.
tetherball poles, broken fingers, candy all over.

let's be the spice girls and marry hanson.

who doesn't want coffee/horse swing lunches?
pendellina tumor.
basketball at the old school.

open faced sandwiches,
let's steal cheese.
wood shop, annoying boys.
secrets.
locker rice and lunge walks,
detention for constant silly talk.
sweet beats.
hot eats/cool treats, at the local dairy q's.
late night walks, late night talks.
let's sit in the closet on the phone.
front lawn spying festivals.
we thought we were so cool.

red rocks, bed rocks, family road trips rock.
broken cars, giant trees, food poisoning.
home.

duct tape, davey havok,
let's create some havoc.
floodpants and sarcastic english essays,
you'll hear what i have to say.
underpants on top of pants,

german class minus german.
poofed wheat, pink shirted boys.
wisdom teeth, napoleon dynamite, biology.
let's make foam dioramas,
for display while we embarrass ourselves.

mohawk.
out the window, down the block.
hide and seek in cars.
tears, fears and beers.
you were always there but never here.
frittatas, mac and cheese, exploding cookies.
who needs to learn about eggs anyways.

let's be jedis.
i love you guys more than i.
blue gowns, cheesy tiara crowns.
cupcake dresses, bathroom safety pins.
reconciliations.
growing apart, growing together.
i'll think of you forever.
lip rings, life lessons.
old friends, regressions.

blind and deaf but good advice.
rod stewart, beer, piña coladas.

good thing we went and saw you.

new school, new crew.
mullets and drinks.
rocky horror was a horror.
costume parties, jack parties, jag parties, random parties.
tequila.

new boy, mean boy.
mother mother.
ducks in fields and force field shields.

all day video game marathons.

finger gun shootouts,

new guy.

basement couch snuggles.
rome and marble.
prada, pompeii, gelato.
jaywalking, crazy car rides,

the window can be a door for now.
long hair, weddings.
crazy dance party family reunions.
drinks, insults, assaults.

hot tubs, accidental lost tops.
snow pees, hungover mc d's.
dinosaurs, new girl, awesome girl.
over, drama, swim up bars.
in da jungle: sweaty backs and heavy backpacks.
rough skinned elephant trunks and snotty noses.
yes hives, no salt.
it's a squat toilet, don't fall down.

windy road mental breakdowns.

new friends, great friends.
hopefully i'll see them again.
foreign land poutine, dengue, support, late night cartoons.
home time, just barely in time.

solo bike rides, camping, me.
tough decisions.
work drama, boy drama, life drama.

new york, new city, new house, new people.

byebye momma, see you soon.

time flies but no forgetting.
new responsibilities, stresses, lessons.
let's try to avoid the messes.
new girls, beer therapy.

i miss familiar smells.

old friends, dead ends?

i’ll do what i can on this two way road if you do the same for me.

halfway is key.

life isn't always like when you were little.

have courage, be strong.

distress, de-stress.

dangit.

i want a spider dog but there will be none of those.

yes i'm double posting.

judge that if you wish, but i have recent thoughts to share.
time flies.
people need to be less crappy and care more about other people.
it would also be nice if people just payed more attention.
to everything, i mean.
their surroundings.
then people would see the man on the motorbike and not hit him.
sometimes it would be good to go back to like grade 4 when boys still had cooties, you could be a spice girl during recess and your best friends spent every waking minute with you.
today is one of those times.
i miss my dog.
i want to steal the bunny that lives under the bike rack, but that bunny is not my molly.
i need sleep.
yesterday i slept for like 10 minutes in class because i'm literally so exhausted.
there aren't enough hours in the day for me to do the things i need to do and the things i want to do.
i couldn't even tell you how much work i have if i tried.
even if i gave a rough estimate, i doubt it would be comprehended.
right now i am physically, mentally and emotionally drained.
if i slept on this bean bag chair right now i wouldn't wake up for like 2 days straight.
girlfriend lunches and shotgunning beers are probably the best therapy.
hopefully i can go to calgary soon.
i saw a saying today in a random unexpected place that reassures.
i learned how to do injections today.
hopefully i don't stab anyone in the bone or kill them.
i won't though, because i will be a tank.
my thoughts are all a jumble and i still have yet to organize the important ones.
perhaps i need a test drive.

bird,

next time you wake me up at 5:30 after a night like this i will literally climb up your tree and punch you out of it.
today is not the day to test that.

untitled.

i totes wish i did really cool things.
i need to do more cool things when i have less school things.
is it lame if sometimes i take it back to like grade 7 and still worry people i've never met won't like me?
yes.
and at the end of the day i know i won't even care if they don't anyways.
perhaps it's just human nature to care, even if it's the slightest amount.
that would suck if nobody cared.
my water bottle is sappy.
i need ideas for a book i will write.
first i need time for that.
i need to travel soon.

after about 0.2394 seconds of pondering, i have decided.

if the 80's decided to make a full on comeback, that would be good.