omfg.

my roommates are driving me insane.

i'm procrastinating the beginning of my sleep cycle.

ummm in school again.
two days of orientation is exhausting.
and it makes me realize how much i need to review so nobody dies on me next week.
efffff.
i shall start this tomorrow....i did a bit on monday but i'm so tired today i won't concentrate.
plus i had class till 9.

i think my new clinical tutor is gonna kick my ass.
well, all of ours.
she's apparently really intense.
i'm hoping this will just motivate me to study and practice and pwn it in the face.
tomorrow i wake up at 7 to start lab at 8...it should be good, i had this lab tutor already and she's fantastic.

worked out yesterday and today, i'm going for a gold star week.
hopefully weekend, i'm going to try and not skip at all.
i'm recording what i eat and work out and hopefully i'll see results.
i'm currently kinda hungry but i'm already in bed so eff that.

tonight's issues.

immediate problem one:
i ate two cupcakes.
but they were like 7 hours apart.
but they were filled with fudge and sooooo good.
however this doesn't help me in my quest to get a smaller self.
(dear me, stop justifying this, even if they're your favorite it's still not ok)

problem two:
one of my girlfriends went home crying.
with her asshole boyfriend.
who lied to her (in reality he lied to all 3 of us girls) twice tonight.
you can't say you left and your friends left, when you were there and so were they.
don't pretend they left just so you can spy on your girl, you insecure douchebag.

problem three:
you remind me of many bad bad nights in the past.
don't lie to her.
don't take her outside and corner her.
don't get in her face and yell at her.
don't get in her friends face (aka my face) when i call you out on your shit.
be a man and own up to what you did.
you will not disrespect my friends in front of me and expect that it will go over well.
trust me, i will win this.

bring it on.

baaahhh.

legit.
why does the universe not make timing correct for once.
one more year is a long time to wait.
now that he told me what he wants it's even longer.
hopefully life works out.

things.

the people i need close to me are there without fail.

over the last 5ish weeks i've gotten to know a wonderful lady who has become one of my best friends.
everything between us is real, honest and raw.
it's refreshing to have her with me.
i remember who i am and where i am, and what i want to be.


on the flip side i seem to attract the weirdest situations.
things and people (coughboyscough) present themselves to me in a way that confuses, yet intrigues me.
i find myself not being able to either commit or resist, and i end up floating somewhere in limbo.
either i haven't found anyone quite worth it in a few months, or i have everyone and everything sitting right in front of me and it's either bad timing, or i can't quite see it.

i never want to settle, but i never want to be left behind.

i might be a lady pimp.

this is confusing.
one boy always comes and goes (and i come and go for him) but i can never figure out what's going on.
i don't know if it will ever happen or it won't, and i don't know what i'd want to happen if anything ever did.
figure that one out.
now a new boy in the mix?
who know's what's up with this.
he's so young.

why are they all in calgary or out of the country or anywhere i don't live?
i'm taking this as a sign that it's not meant to be, it's the wrong timing, or it's just something to keep me coming back to calgary.

life updates.

i got home yesterday from 5 weeks in costa rica.
week 1: lost luggage, spanish school, homestay, partying with mama tica, jelly shots, salsa dancing, drunken beach excursion, snorkeling, sexy tico boys, nachos bar, imperial beer, great new friends.
week 2/3: long bus rides, sexy tico man, frog searching, dolphin searching, beach tanning, boat tanning, naughty spanish learning, tobogganing on my face down a hill, jungle exploring, hammock napping, lazy afternoons, mosquito net snuggles, wild life rescue, scratching a bossy spider monkey, conch shell showers, new life backup plan.
week 4/5: tour, zip lining, waterfall rappelling, sunning, shopping, beach walking, volcano hiking, waking up to howler monkeys, skinny dipping, more sexy ticos, beach lunches, ear infection, cute puppies, the grinch, walk-offs, broken cameras, hot springs, departures.

new life plan if all fails: move there and find me a sexy tico boy with 30 abs, sun myself on the beach all day and drink mojitos.